http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/pdf/PositiveLanguage.pdf
Here's link about positive adoption language.
Just thought it was interesting. It is geared toward making sure your little one (or big one) never feels neglected or "unwanted". Also helps if friends and family are aware of positive adoption language!
-megs
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Update on the foster-adopt decision
Alrighty then, so I had said that I'd update on the foster-adopt situation.
Baron and I are currently on the waiting list for the Texas Baptist Home for Children's private infant adoption program. That waiting list is a year long (just for orientation) though. The main reason is that they only accept 7 couples into the program at a time so that the real waiting, once you're done with orientation, isn't so long. Better service, etc.
We liked this program better for several reasons.
1. they don't want ANY money upfront. Only after a service has actually been provided.
Fine with me, as I really would hate to loose money on something so emotionally charged as adoption anyway.
2. at the time our baby is placed in our arms, we only owe 50%. We can pay the rest off later.
3. it costs less than half as much, and we already have that first 50% in our hands. (or the bank, whatever.)
So, in the mean time, while we wait, we decided to go ahead and foster-adopt too. (something else we had talked about doing, but didn't because we were scared. the meeting with CPS really eased all our fears!)
Our agency is also associated with CPS, as the majority of CPS placements are actually done through private agencies here in Texas.
Technically we'll be "dual-licensed" to foster and adopt. you don' t necessarily do both.
you can, if a child you are fostering becomes legally "available" for adoption, if you feel it's a good match. This process is a little shorter, as they are desperate for good, loving, Christian homes, even temporary homes for these kids in the care of CPS. We're looking at being licensed around January!! We are so looking forward to being able to help love these kids who don't get that at home. We have a lot of love to give and can't wait to give it!
So now that the nursery is done, we have work to do on a "kids" room! fun fun! I love shopping for all this stuff, and thankfully, we're about 2 miles away from IKEA!!
Baron and I are currently on the waiting list for the Texas Baptist Home for Children's private infant adoption program. That waiting list is a year long (just for orientation) though. The main reason is that they only accept 7 couples into the program at a time so that the real waiting, once you're done with orientation, isn't so long. Better service, etc.
We liked this program better for several reasons.
1. they don't want ANY money upfront. Only after a service has actually been provided.
Fine with me, as I really would hate to loose money on something so emotionally charged as adoption anyway.
2. at the time our baby is placed in our arms, we only owe 50%. We can pay the rest off later.
3. it costs less than half as much, and we already have that first 50% in our hands. (or the bank, whatever.)
So, in the mean time, while we wait, we decided to go ahead and foster-adopt too. (something else we had talked about doing, but didn't because we were scared. the meeting with CPS really eased all our fears!)
Our agency is also associated with CPS, as the majority of CPS placements are actually done through private agencies here in Texas.
Technically we'll be "dual-licensed" to foster and adopt. you don' t necessarily do both.
you can, if a child you are fostering becomes legally "available" for adoption, if you feel it's a good match. This process is a little shorter, as they are desperate for good, loving, Christian homes, even temporary homes for these kids in the care of CPS. We're looking at being licensed around January!! We are so looking forward to being able to help love these kids who don't get that at home. We have a lot of love to give and can't wait to give it!
So now that the nursery is done, we have work to do on a "kids" room! fun fun! I love shopping for all this stuff, and thankfully, we're about 2 miles away from IKEA!!
Thursday, July 5, 2007
fun fun!
Hi everybody!
I do hope everything is going well in all your lives!
Things are going great here. I have been searching for new apartments this afternoon. We're not out of our lease until December, but I figured I wanted a head start on apartment hunting, as I feel we need a slightly bigger place for the next year and beyond. So, I've been searching. I found one place that's about 1.5 miles from our current place, in the same great area, and a 2 bedroom is only 36 dollars more than what we're paying now! can't beat that!
In other news, I had been thinking that my belly button (where they went in for my surgery a few weeks ago) was getting infected, but mom said it looked fine. She was wrong. I ended up going to the doctor today as it was hurting more and decided to become obviously infected. (I won't go into detail!) So, I am back on antibiotics but feel fine save for the belly button pain. fun fun!
In yet other news, Anna, my cousin has so graciously given us a lead in the great baby search! A little boy she works with at the daycare center is coming up for adoption (or has come up for adoption) and she made an appointment with the social worker to get some info on our behalf. She did this without our assistance, which I think is so wonderful of her! What an amazing provider our God is and what a mature adult my cousin is becoming! We are finding that friends and family and even acquaintances are stepping up to the plate without being asked to help us in our endeavor to grow our family! We are so blessed!
Also, Baron's aunt is working on a lead over there in Georgia for us! The mother doesn't yet know what she is going to do, but I think is aware that parenting at such a young age is difficult, and was thinking about adoption. (this is all 3rd party information though!) We'll be praying that the right situation works out for us, however and whenever the time is right.
So anyway, more about the baby:
He is 7 months old, and his name is Caleb. (that's all we know.. )
The other one has yet to be born, but I think the pbm is due in 3-4 months time.
Our request, as always, is that you pray that we have clarity and wisdom throughout this journey. We believe wholeheartedly that God is sovereign and whatever happens really does happen with a purpose, and we are looking forward to seeing His purposes worked out!!
In more other news: We are a quarter of the way done with fundraising!! Any help would of course be appreciated! Let me know if you are interested in helping. There will be many opportunities! I will be planning a fundraiser soon, I am thinking a "Day of Beauty" where friends and family and friends and family of friends and family can come and get a day of beauty. A trim, mani-pedi, make-overs, massages, etc. What do y'all think?
We really only need to raise about another 5,000, which is just another quarter, but the IRS is great and will give us back all the money we spent on this. (in essence paying the rest of the cost!!)
We also have artwork that we'd like to sell. We aquired 3 black and white photographs by a Portland, OR artist by the name of David O'Connor. They are pencil signed and dated, and worth about $1,000 a piece. If anyone is interested, or knows anyone who is interested, let me know!
I think that's about it for now!
Soon, I'll be sending out our photoresume letters to our friends and family. These are letters stating our intent to adopt, our reasons and such, and a brief biography. We'd love your help in distributing these letters to your "network". People such as ob/gyns, family care doctors, social workers, highschool teachers/principles, counselors, family/marriage counselors, crisis pregnancy centers, and church clergy. We have already found that once we get the word out, that people step up. We've already had 3 leads and we've only been at this for 3 months! just think if we can get out 500 letters between all of us! What most adoption professionals say is that we should send out 100 letters with 5 copies each to people we know and/or love. ;)
Then you guys will take these letters with you, and if you find yourself in a situation where you hear of a baby you can hand them our letter. Or, you can just give them to professionals who may be in a position to hear of a baby. People are much more willing to help if they know who they are helping, or at least know of them through the network. So if I personally sent your ob/gyn a letter saying that I was adopting, she/he'd probably toss it into the pile and forget about it. BUT! if YOU give it to them, and say that we are family/friends etc, they are much more likely to help! If you'd like to help, send me your address to eidsonmegan@yahoo.com
I think that's it for now! Sorry it was so long, but I guess I had a lot to say!
As always, I'll keep you informed of happenings at the Eidson household!
-Megan
I do hope everything is going well in all your lives!
Things are going great here. I have been searching for new apartments this afternoon. We're not out of our lease until December, but I figured I wanted a head start on apartment hunting, as I feel we need a slightly bigger place for the next year and beyond. So, I've been searching. I found one place that's about 1.5 miles from our current place, in the same great area, and a 2 bedroom is only 36 dollars more than what we're paying now! can't beat that!
In other news, I had been thinking that my belly button (where they went in for my surgery a few weeks ago) was getting infected, but mom said it looked fine. She was wrong. I ended up going to the doctor today as it was hurting more and decided to become obviously infected. (I won't go into detail!) So, I am back on antibiotics but feel fine save for the belly button pain. fun fun!
In yet other news, Anna, my cousin has so graciously given us a lead in the great baby search! A little boy she works with at the daycare center is coming up for adoption (or has come up for adoption) and she made an appointment with the social worker to get some info on our behalf. She did this without our assistance, which I think is so wonderful of her! What an amazing provider our God is and what a mature adult my cousin is becoming! We are finding that friends and family and even acquaintances are stepping up to the plate without being asked to help us in our endeavor to grow our family! We are so blessed!
Also, Baron's aunt is working on a lead over there in Georgia for us! The mother doesn't yet know what she is going to do, but I think is aware that parenting at such a young age is difficult, and was thinking about adoption. (this is all 3rd party information though!) We'll be praying that the right situation works out for us, however and whenever the time is right.
So anyway, more about the baby:
He is 7 months old, and his name is Caleb. (that's all we know.. )
The other one has yet to be born, but I think the pbm is due in 3-4 months time.
Our request, as always, is that you pray that we have clarity and wisdom throughout this journey. We believe wholeheartedly that God is sovereign and whatever happens really does happen with a purpose, and we are looking forward to seeing His purposes worked out!!
In more other news: We are a quarter of the way done with fundraising!! Any help would of course be appreciated! Let me know if you are interested in helping. There will be many opportunities! I will be planning a fundraiser soon, I am thinking a "Day of Beauty" where friends and family and friends and family of friends and family can come and get a day of beauty. A trim, mani-pedi, make-overs, massages, etc. What do y'all think?
We really only need to raise about another 5,000, which is just another quarter, but the IRS is great and will give us back all the money we spent on this. (in essence paying the rest of the cost!!)
We also have artwork that we'd like to sell. We aquired 3 black and white photographs by a Portland, OR artist by the name of David O'Connor. They are pencil signed and dated, and worth about $1,000 a piece. If anyone is interested, or knows anyone who is interested, let me know!
I think that's about it for now!
Soon, I'll be sending out our photoresume letters to our friends and family. These are letters stating our intent to adopt, our reasons and such, and a brief biography. We'd love your help in distributing these letters to your "network". People such as ob/gyns, family care doctors, social workers, highschool teachers/principles, counselors, family/marriage counselors, crisis pregnancy centers, and church clergy. We have already found that once we get the word out, that people step up. We've already had 3 leads and we've only been at this for 3 months! just think if we can get out 500 letters between all of us! What most adoption professionals say is that we should send out 100 letters with 5 copies each to people we know and/or love. ;)
Then you guys will take these letters with you, and if you find yourself in a situation where you hear of a baby you can hand them our letter. Or, you can just give them to professionals who may be in a position to hear of a baby. People are much more willing to help if they know who they are helping, or at least know of them through the network. So if I personally sent your ob/gyn a letter saying that I was adopting, she/he'd probably toss it into the pile and forget about it. BUT! if YOU give it to them, and say that we are family/friends etc, they are much more likely to help! If you'd like to help, send me your address to eidsonmegan@yahoo.com
I think that's it for now! Sorry it was so long, but I guess I had a lot to say!
As always, I'll keep you informed of happenings at the Eidson household!
-Megan
Monday, July 2, 2007
Open Adoption
Wow.
So I read a book tonight called "Arms Wide Open: An Insight into Open Adoption". It was fabulous. Short, but fabulous. It definitely got me thinking about how open I wanted our adoption to be. Let me clarify. I had been thinking about this, but I think this book helped me solidify some of the ideas I was thinking about.
First, let me describe our opinions of the birthmother and things that we as adoptive parents will try to remember. Things that we will always try to adhere to throughout this process. We don't know the birthmother yet, but there are some general ideas we've got.
The birthmother will always hold a place of honor in our lives. She will have given us an amazing gift for which we will be eternally grateful. We understand and are empathetic to the issues she may be facing. We are not perfect either. We may have even been there ourselves. We are not judgmental. See above. We realize, after our own losses that this must be an extremely difficult thing for her to be going through. That this will hurt. That she will grieve. That she may even be angry at us for being able to parent when she can not. We realize and understand that she may decide to parent before papers are signed, and we will respect her decision either way. We want her in our lives. We want a relationship, of some sort, with her.
So, how open do we want it?
My answer is: as open as God wants it. That's the short answer anyway.
I'll explain.
We will most definitely want to send cards, letters and pictures throughout the baby's life.
Here are things that I want: (I am hoping I speak for Baron too, but I wouldn't know. I was finally able to think things through enough to make them clear, and he's asleep!! So for now assume I'm speaking for both of us when I use I and we interchangeably. I'll let him add his 2 cents in later when he wakes up.)
I would love to have more contact than cards letters and pictures. I would love to have the birthmother near. I would love to be able for my child to have visits with the birthmother. I don't think I'd let our child go with birthmother alone. Obviously Baron and I will be the ones parenting, the ones who make the decisions, but I'd love for the birthmother to be like an aunt. We want to treat her as part of our extended family. I want our child to know their birthmother. I want them to meet, not just at the birth, but later too. When our child will remember. I want to be able to answer questions. If I don't know the answer, I want to be able to call or write the birthmother and ask. I want a relationship with the birthmother, as she will always hold a special place in our lives.
I realize that this is not always what the birthmother wants, but I also realize that a birthmother who says they want minimal contact may feel differently after the birth. Baron and I want to be open to that possibility. We want to remain open concerning our relationship with the birthmother. To a reasonable extent, we want to allow the birthmother some lee-way.
I think this is my maximum. We don't want the birthmother in our home everyday. We will be parenting. We will make the ultimate decision, but we are flexible, and will ALWAYS be prayerful about those decisions.
I also realize that God may have other plans. It has happened before! I will try to be "open" to a closed adoption, though I know that an open adoption is "healthier" for all that are involved. I realize that our birthmother may not be open to an open adoption, and we need to be open to that too.
Ultimately, we want what God wants. If you are keeping us in your prayers, please pray that Baron and I are able to keep God's will in mind, prayerfully, always. Now more than ever. Please pray that whatever comes about, that we are at peace with what happens, open or closed, or any where else along that continuum.
-Megan
So I read a book tonight called "Arms Wide Open: An Insight into Open Adoption". It was fabulous. Short, but fabulous. It definitely got me thinking about how open I wanted our adoption to be. Let me clarify. I had been thinking about this, but I think this book helped me solidify some of the ideas I was thinking about.
First, let me describe our opinions of the birthmother and things that we as adoptive parents will try to remember. Things that we will always try to adhere to throughout this process. We don't know the birthmother yet, but there are some general ideas we've got.
The birthmother will always hold a place of honor in our lives. She will have given us an amazing gift for which we will be eternally grateful. We understand and are empathetic to the issues she may be facing. We are not perfect either. We may have even been there ourselves. We are not judgmental. See above. We realize, after our own losses that this must be an extremely difficult thing for her to be going through. That this will hurt. That she will grieve. That she may even be angry at us for being able to parent when she can not. We realize and understand that she may decide to parent before papers are signed, and we will respect her decision either way. We want her in our lives. We want a relationship, of some sort, with her.
So, how open do we want it?
My answer is: as open as God wants it. That's the short answer anyway.
I'll explain.
We will most definitely want to send cards, letters and pictures throughout the baby's life.
Here are things that I want: (I am hoping I speak for Baron too, but I wouldn't know. I was finally able to think things through enough to make them clear, and he's asleep!! So for now assume I'm speaking for both of us when I use I and we interchangeably. I'll let him add his 2 cents in later when he wakes up.)
I would love to have more contact than cards letters and pictures. I would love to have the birthmother near. I would love to be able for my child to have visits with the birthmother. I don't think I'd let our child go with birthmother alone. Obviously Baron and I will be the ones parenting, the ones who make the decisions, but I'd love for the birthmother to be like an aunt. We want to treat her as part of our extended family. I want our child to know their birthmother. I want them to meet, not just at the birth, but later too. When our child will remember. I want to be able to answer questions. If I don't know the answer, I want to be able to call or write the birthmother and ask. I want a relationship with the birthmother, as she will always hold a special place in our lives.
I realize that this is not always what the birthmother wants, but I also realize that a birthmother who says they want minimal contact may feel differently after the birth. Baron and I want to be open to that possibility. We want to remain open concerning our relationship with the birthmother. To a reasonable extent, we want to allow the birthmother some lee-way.
I think this is my maximum. We don't want the birthmother in our home everyday. We will be parenting. We will make the ultimate decision, but we are flexible, and will ALWAYS be prayerful about those decisions.
I also realize that God may have other plans. It has happened before! I will try to be "open" to a closed adoption, though I know that an open adoption is "healthier" for all that are involved. I realize that our birthmother may not be open to an open adoption, and we need to be open to that too.
Ultimately, we want what God wants. If you are keeping us in your prayers, please pray that Baron and I are able to keep God's will in mind, prayerfully, always. Now more than ever. Please pray that whatever comes about, that we are at peace with what happens, open or closed, or any where else along that continuum.
-Megan
Sunday, July 1, 2007
My first post!
Alright, so I'm not claiming to be a great blogger, as I HATE writing, but I do have a need to keep you people informed and updated on the happenings over here at the Eidson cottage. I will also *try* and add in some of my personal feelings from time to time, as I know I would like to have record of those later on, when baby Eidson decides he or she is ready to know their story.
So here we go!
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