little update!

Ok, so I have been urged to update, I will see what I can do.

We've had one heck of a week this week. Big A came down with Swine Flu on Friday and has been home sick since. I love him dearly, but he is NASTY when he's sick. Demanding, acting like a toddler (seriously, screaming to try to get his way) and acting out for no reason what so ever. I am ready for him to go back to school tomorrow.

Usually I am so mentally exhausted that at the end of the night, I want nothing more than to escape to my favorite fictional time and place (book of choice is twilight saga) and soak in a hot bath and think about nothing else until tomorrow. I explained to my husband (who works 12-13 hour days 5-7 days a week depending on the week) that I spend most of my time pouring all my love into them, and it's not enough. So I end the day drained, and they're still not getting enough love to make up for all they've had taken away because of abuse. I can understand why foster parents need respite care now, and I am contemplating taking a long weekend at the end of October. We'll see. I hate to leave my children with somebody else because I am simply tired of dealing with them, but I need some time where I learn to miss them, I think. I am hoping to find a respite family and go hang out with them one afternoon so I'm not just dropping the kids off at a strangers house. (mind you, that isn't as bad as it sounds, these people have extensive background checks run on them, and they are all cpr certified, and usually have gone through all the foster classes and continuing education too, so it's not just some random family!)

OK, so now that that's said.. the kids are amazing. They are bright, and funny, and lots of fun to be around. They love to play at the park, and do things like brush my hair and "fix it". They love to push my buttons, but when they are feeling like they can trust me, their real selves come out, and they can push my good buttons too. They LOVE to cuddle, so we try to fit as much cuddle time in as possible each day, and I try to reserve a small amount of time for each child to themselves if I can.
Big A is in 1st grade, and I am pretty sure he is teacher's pet. She cannot stop praising him every time I talk to her. He is doing fantastic in school, and I am impressed every day when he comes home with a new accomplishment. The kids in his class LOVE him, and always ask for him to stay after school and play at the park. So I am getting to know some of the parents of kids in his class. that's fun. We brought popsicles to the park after school one day, and boy was that a big hit!
E is in kindergarten, and she too is very bright. Also a MAJOR teachers pet. She sings to her teacher, and tells her that she's beautiful every day, who wouldn't love her!? lol. She is precious, and has this great husky voice and contagious laughter, and she is ALWAYS laughing.
littl A is staying home with me, and is just improving in leaps and bounds with all the undiluted mommy time. She has stopped following me around the house, and can be ok with it when I leave her in the living room to go pee, which is nice!! She gets complements every where we go for how beautiful she is (heck, all the kids do!) I can't wait to show you all pics of them when we finally get to sign those papers.

Speaking of which, I still have no clue on when that will be. We are all still in the dark about it.

The kids have all almost completely stopped asking for and crying about their old foster mom, and their bio mom, and I guess that's a good sign, because it's certainly not a learned behavior. We gladly talked about both "mommies" with no qualms when the kids brought up the subject. I guess it's a sign of their healing. I hope it is anyway!

I hope this will be enough of an update for a while! I am not sure when I will have a chance, but I will attempt to do little updates here and there as I can. My next one will be of funny things that the kids have said.. you will get a good laugh out of those, so stay tuned!